Looking back before moving forward
It's a new year.
A brand new start.
A chance to Refocus. Restart. Reprioritize. Modify. Clarify. Change.
Whatever it is from that list above, I completely believe that we were made for fresh starts. We desire them deep in our bones because we all know, way deep down within ourselves that on our own, we aren’t enough. We haven’t done “it” well enough. We came up short.
So a new year. A fresh start. Another chance. Wow. That's a beautiful thing. It's an embodiment of the gospel. Jesus came to give us a fresh start. He wiped our slate clean and said, let's start anew. I'll give you my righteousness to cover you. I don't participate in New Years Resolutions because I'm not a very reliable person when it comes to changing a lot of stuff. History and research would show that a very small percentage of people can actually keep resolutions.
But I do have a practice that has brought me so much clarity, humility, gratitude and focus as I head into a new season.
Every January, I pray about and choose a WORD for the new year. I LOVE this practice and have been doing it since 2012. It helps me to reset, refocus, remember and re-prioritize while also (surprisingly) increasing my own personal joy and gratitude. I don’t marry this word...some years, my January word is forgotten by March (so I always write it down). My WORD is nothing more than a hope, an ask, a prayer or a conviction. I always try to come up with a beautiful-sounding word like "breathe" or "rest". Words that are ideal things that I'd like to see in myself and my life.
At the end of December, I spend the last week of the year reflecting back on the past 12 months and I'll ask God to show me what my actual word should have been. A word that sums up the year. A word that was a theme. Guess what? They are NEVER the same word. I've never once chosen a word in January and ended the year with the same word. I love watching how He takes something I offer or choose and makes it better...even if it's harder, less romantic and less enticing by the standards of human eyes.
So while my words are a hope for a more ideal state for myself, His words have mostly been things He wants to show me while I do nothing. Or something that is hard and goes against my flesh. Isn't that just like us? And Him? We want to do...and He's like, nope. I got this. You just let me.
In January of this year, I chose the word “Invite”. I wrote about it on the old blog that I formerly managed, but I’ll post date it here if you want to read about my hopes and practical steps to making this word a banner over 2018.
"Invite" was a dreamy and exciting word for me. There’s not much about it that made me feel uncomfortable or fearful, even though I know some personality types out there would seriously cringe. When I chose the word, I was coming out of the newborn fog (with a 13 month old) and I was ready to start feeling more like myself again. In my past week reflections, I can see how invitation was a big part of this year. I’ve lived more outward-facing this year, gained confidence in vulnerability again and hopefully have loved my people more effectively. But “invite” is not the word that I associate with 2018 when I look back on this year.
This year was all about “wellness”.
Wellness. Well-being. Health. Strength. Flourishing….Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.
Can I just stop for a moment and say that I NEVER would have expected a word like this? I enjoy health and fitness as much as the next person, but I’ve never been a person to get excited about it. I've always lived an active enough life that I've never really put much thought into the foods I ate, as long as they tasted good. I didn’t realize just how much we were lacking in this area.
My "end of the year word" in 2017 was unveiling and I completely believe that God has continued that into this year in this specific area of wellness. For our family, this year has been all about unveiling lies we’ve believed and turning away from those false beliefs to pursue emotional, spiritual and physical wellness. It’s all been so practical and discipline-based, which isn’t how my brain naturally works, but it’s been life changing. I find it comforting that God spoke into this area of our lives even when we didn't even know we needed it.
Choosing Truth
So I believe that God used this year to expose lies that were causing us to miss the mark. Lies that were distracting us and causing fear in our hearts. Here are a few of them...
Lie: the food we eat doesn’t matter
Truth: the food we eat absolutely matters
Lie: my exercise routine can be “whatever” I feel like
Truth: strength training, variety, and endurance are key
Lie: all body systems are not interconnected
Truth: everything is connected...gut, brain, hormones, mood, mental state, sleep
Lie: we can will ourselves to be above our triggers
Truth: we must be disciplined to protect ourselves from our triggers
Lie: God doesn’t move “in that way” anymore
Truth: Oh yes He can. And will. And does.
Lie: more is better and clutter can be managed
Truth: more is NOT better. Physical clutter steals from us and clutters our minds and hearts.
I feel like I’m walking out of 2018 as a new person with so much new knowledge and confidence. And can I tell you something? The main manifested result of this new knowledge and confidence is decreased fear.
Last year at this time, I was riddled with fear. I worried about the health of my children, one of them specifically. I worried about causes for things that didn’t necessarily have answers. I worried about my weight and energy level. I carried worries that I didn’t even know were there. But they were. All the while. Stealing joy and breeding further fear.
Each one of those lies above has its own story and list of resources that have brought me to where I am today. I’m ever so grateful.
There is so much going on underneath the surface. Smaller stories that are writing the greater narrative. And something I've seen in action this year is that the counter to fear isn't bravery. It's faith. My admonishment to anyone reading this is to ask questions and not settle for fear. If something doesn’t feel right, emotionally, spiritually or physically, look into it. Get more opinions...even from sources you never thought you’d consider. Seek better because better is possible.